I. CHILDHOOD (ages 5-8): Children of this age, by the time they come to us have already picked up basic attitudes to people and things. They know how to perform before elders. They are curious, inquisitive and love to play with whatever they find. They are in the process of developing a conscience and begin to make moral judgments. Their imagination is abundant. They love the make-believe world of fantasy. All that they hear or see is real. They are unable to distinguish fact from fiction. They enjoy learning through song, drama and games. They express themselves better through art. They are capable of reaching out to help those they love. They like making friends. They begin to feel a sense of belonging as they learn to identify family members.
To apply DB’s Way we need to know what they like and What they do not
like.
Children of this age like: play, stories, secrets, even if they don’t deep them, pleasant surprises, short term activities, using new skills, whatever their friends like, attention and being attended to immediately.
Children of this do not like: bullies, favoritism by elders, being sent to bed, being lectured to etc.
WHEN USING…
Rapport: by getting to know the groups they like to associate with. Be firm on the use of their time, fix a period for recreation and study, Enthuse them in their studies, make leaning an experience of joyful discovery. Participate in their recreation, make sacrifices to attend to their needs like cutting down on your relaxation or TV watching. When you do this, you are showing them that they are your prime concern.
Religion: by connecting them in prayer. Reason can help to see that asking for God’s blessing cannot be done while holding a grudge against one’s brother or sister. Encourage their spontaneous childlike formulations of prayer. Encourage sharing and generosity especially with the less fortunate.
Be aware of their growing sensitivity to what is right and wrong. Teaching by example can make the greatest impact on their minds.
Reason: Avoid comparing behaviour with others. Accepting each one for his/her own uniqueness will help to build a healthy self-esteem. Be excited about the new ventures they are fond of. Feed their curiosity with wholesome information about facts and general knowledge. Begin training for art, song, drama and dance. Incentives for work well done are needed. Let rewards be surprises.
II. INTERMEDIATES (Ages 9-13): At this stage, the difference between girls
and boys is quite pronounced. Girls appear more mature than boys because
of which boys are often shy of girls. The do not mix freely. Peer approval begins to dominate and influences their lives. They look up to the peer leader. They are able to reason for themselves. They can perceive what is symbolic and are more able to grasp spiritual ideas. They can assume responsibility for their actions. Children at this age have a natural exuberance and like to be helpful. They are sensitive and their feelings are easily hurt.
They discriminate between those they naturally like and those they don’t.
They make strong moral judgments. Successful adults are their models. Intermediates like their friends, spending time in play and gossip, action, drama, contemporary music, thinking of themselves and competitions. Intermediates do not like Rival Groups, people who do not trust them, Do’s
and Don’ts.
WHEN USING…
Rapport: Know their peers and encourage them whenever possible. Get familiar with the leader of the group. Do not compare.
Religion: Teach them to assume responsibility for their actions. Utilize constructively their natural exuberance to be of service. Encourage them to pray in groups.
Reason: Encourage quality friendships. Encourage group activity and create opportunities for the same. Develop their talents. When correcting, give brief and simple explanations.
III. ADOLESCENTS (Ages 14-19): The search for identity is on. Teenagers struggle to assert their individuality. They tend to feel more at home among
their peers than with their parents. Peer acceptance is of vital importance. Negative feedback about their dress, behaviour or adult generalizations such as, ‘when I was your age..’, ‘in our time…’, are detested.
The teenager is now capable of thinking, assessing, and reasoning. The arena in which he/she has to make choices is now much wider than the home, and therefore confusing. The voices of parents, educators and elders are now competing with louder voices of peers and the youth media culture. This state of indecision and inconsistency typifies teenage behaviour.
Teenagers are highly idealistic and hate hypocrisy especially among adults.
They begin to discover their own sexuality and strive to impress those with
whom they are infatuated, even spending long hours in chatting on the phone or in each other’s company. They enjoy teasing each other about their infatuations.
Teens like to have privacy being taken seriously, listened to and to belong to a peer group. They like people who are honest, tolerant and excuse their
erratic behaviour. They like teasing, sports, music, TV and like to be heroes
and heroines.
Teens do not like people who are quick to judge, people who cannot take a
decision, nagging, being corrected in public, personal remarks in front of
their peers or the opposite sex, being left out or criticized by their peers,
being betrayed or deceived, Dishonesty and compromise, strain or pressure.
WHEN USING…
Rapport: Let love be alert, yet patient and discerning. Always keep the channels of communication open. Encourage peer group gatherings from time to time. Establish good relations with the group leader. Be aware of the
biological and emotional changes and respect their feelings. Encourage them to widen their circle of friends.
Religion: Propose models of good behaviour tactfully, without making comparisons or being too insistent. Look out for personality development seminars that may be available and get them to participate. If coaxing doesn’t work, get the leader of the group to attend or get a friend to accompany your teenager. Prayer must be relevant to personal and social needs. Encourage peer-participation in prayer gatherings. Arrange a volunteers’ participation programme at a hospital or at any centre for disadvantaged people in order to balance their faith in God with generosity and social concern.
Reason: Do not generalize; treat each individual case separately. Appeal to
reason without forcing ideas on them. Ask pertinent questions and let them
sort out the answers. Be sincere when responding to their queries. Sooner or later they will realize that parents and educators are not omniscient. Give them ‘space’. This means tolerating disagreement. Encourage discussion and critical appreciation of media issues. When correcting them, get to the point. If cooperation from your teenagers is not forthcoming even after being reasonable with them, a firm, decisive stand may have to be imposed without being harsh or abusive.
Feel Proud: Dear Student feel proud that you have entered into an international group of Don Bosco Institutions spread over 126 countries. Your school comes under South Asia region under which fall all the 11 provinces of India namely Guwahati, Mumbai, Chennai, Kolkata, Bangalore,
Dimapur, Hyderabad, Delhi, Konkan, Trichi, and Silchar.
Your School mostly caters to the poor and less fortunate children in the locality. The school follows the state syllabus and runs in co-education mode.
Demand much from my Salesians & teachers to be role models for you. You
are most Welcome to Join me in this exciting venture of leading young to their TRUE DESTINY.